i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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