I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
