I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
