wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize