omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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