Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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