I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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