You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The struggles of a small town man whore
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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