I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
