he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize