your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
