Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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