You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize