I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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