i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
