we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize