You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
