Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
