found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
