I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
