We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
