I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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