I think i peed on brittanys purse
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
