I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
