So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
