I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
