A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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