The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
