youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
