Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
