Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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