i think my mom watched the whole time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize