Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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