Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
