It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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