her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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