Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
