i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
