btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
