I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
