I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Randomize
