Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
