Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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