she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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