I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
