And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
