"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
