Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
3pm strippers are depressing
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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