The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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