sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
