Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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