Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
