There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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