Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My bed smells like the plague
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
