You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize