Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
