planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
