Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
