Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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