brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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