I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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