One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am naked and annoyed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
