This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
