That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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