"it" just moved
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
