Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
