are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
